Forbidden love
by Sparrowfur1993
Summary: A simple romance, with a great twist at the end ;
1. Disclaimer

**Disclaimer :** I do not own any of these charactors. They are all the ideas and creations of Erin Hunter. I am just a fan, which has made an made-up story. The only vcats that our mine is Raven, Muddykit and Ripplekit.

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**Leader**: Firestar-ginger tom with a flame-coloured pelt

**Deputy**: Brambleclaw-dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes

**Medicine Cat****: **Jayfeather-gray tabby tom with blind blue eyes 

**Warriors**:

Graystripe-long-haired gray tom

Dustpelt-dark brown tabby tom

Sandstorm-pale ginger she-cat with green eyes

Brackenfur-golden brown tabby tom

Sorreltail-tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with amber eyes

Cloudtail-long-haired white tom with blue eyes

Brightheart-white she-cat with ginger patches

Millie-striped gray tabby she-cat

Thornclaw-golden brown tabby tom

Squirrelflight-dark ginger she-cat with green eyes

Leafpool-light brown tabby she-cat with amber eyes, former medicine cat

Spiderleg-long-limbed black tom with brown underbelly and amber eyes

Birchfall-light brown tabby tom

Whitewing-white she-cat with green eyes

Berrynose-cream-coloured tom

Hazeltail-small gray-and-white she-cat

Mousewhisker-gray-and-white tom

Cinderheart-gray tabby she-cat  
Apprentice, Ivypaw

Lionblaze-golden tabby tom with amber eyes  
Apprentice, Dovepaw

Foxleap-reddish tabby tom

Icecloud-white she-cat

Toadstep-black-and-white tom

Rosepetal-dark cream she-cat

Briarlight-dark brown she-cat

Blossomfall-tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat

Bumblestripe-very pale gray tom with black stripes

**Apprentices: **

Dovepaw-pale gray she-cat with blue eyes

Ivypaw-silver-and-white tabby she-cat with dark blue eyes

**Queens****:**

Ferncloud-pale gray (with darker flecks) she-cat with green eyes

Daisy-cream long-furred cat from the horseplace

Poppyfrost-tortoiseshell she-cat (mother to Cherrykit, a ginger she-cat, and Molekit, a brown-and-cream tom)

**Elders****: **

Mousefur-small dusky brown she-cat

Purdy-plump tabby former loner with a gray muzzle


	2. Prologue

**Prologue**

A dark brown she-cat leaped over a fallen log, her paws hit the ground steadily as she continued to run. She was afraid to turn back, her paws continually hit the ground forcefully and she pressed herself to leap forward. Her pelt blended in with the tall trees around her, her pelt was a dark brown which had dark black stripes. She stopped to take a breath, her ears perked and twitching for any sounds.  
"What is she running from?" Came a small whisper, It came from another she-cat who was sat in the bushes. Her grey tabby pelt blended into the surroundings, she was talking to a golden tabby tom with a nicked ear.  
"She hasn't crossed Thunderclan's border yet, she is Shadowclan's problem." The golden tom's voice hastily mewed; his eyes didn't come of the she-cat. He was worried about her. He knew he couldn't do anything until she passed the borders. "How can we leave her helpless Lionblaze?" The she-cat asked, her voice was strong and showed how she wanted to go and comfort the she-cat. Lionblaze looked at the grey she-cat briefly before looking back to the brown she-cat. "Cinderheart." He growled, "If we crossed that border, Shadowclan will have our tails again." He added with an annoyed hiss, he shook his ruff as he carefully flickered his ears.

The brown tabby she-cat took a deep breath, she couldn't run again. Her ears flickered as she was unsure if she should be doing this. She closed her eyes as she heard the noise that had been hunting her; barking, yapping, howling, Dogs. She could hear the paw steps come closer to her, the panting and tails wagging in the distance. She held her breath; it would be all over soon enough.

A few seconds had passed before she opened her eyes, curious if they had found her. She could hear their breaths, their heavy paws and their tails. As she opened them, a big black hound leaped from the bush, heading straight for her. She could understand only a few words... "Prey...Kill...Hunt." Was all the dogs were saying to each other, the stupid beasts? She gave a defensive snarl before she felt herself being flown into the air, a terrible pain searing from her shoulder. She landed on her side, rolling over and facing the cruel beasts. She growled at them, her claws unsheathed. There were three of them, all different sizes. She recognised the big black one. He was the one she had first seen, scented and had run from. The others had just joined in. She didn't have enough time to think as the black dog snapped at the she-cat; his teeth took a mouthful of her pelt as she jumped back, slashing her claws down the dog's face. She landed on her paws, carefully not to put weight down onto her shoulder.

She snarled her teeth as she took a step forward; her brown pelt was now streaked in red liquid. She could feel herself getting tired. She lashed her claws a few times as the dogs tired to get closer; she didn't want this to be the end. She jumped onto the black dog's back and gripped her teeth into the dog's pelt. The dog's whine echoed through her ears as she clawed deeper into the dog's pelt. The dog shook her off, she landed on her paws but it was showing how tired she was, she couldn't stand properly. Her tail swished violently from behind of her as she growled again.

Before she could react, her eyes were beginning to cloud from exhaustion. She could just see a golden blur before something slammed into her side. The searing pain flipped her over, she cried out in agony before she felt herself go silent.


	3. Is she okay?

"Is she okay?" A gentle mew vibrated through the she-cat's ears, she cloud feel her heavy eyes closed and her senses were returning. She could smell the distant scent of mixed herbs. Where was she?  
"She has walked in the stars." Another voice came, this one made her heart skip. She wanted to hear it again.  
"But she has come back to us for a reason?" A voice interrupted, it was strong and had authority. "No Firestar," The deep voice came back, "I believe she was just lucky." She could hear the sarcasm in the tom's voice. Her ears twitched lightly, "She's waking up." The voice fretted, "Out now."

The she-cat could hear the faint traces of multiple paw steps leave before she flickered her eyes open. They were blurry but she could still work out shapes around her. She blinked a few times, hoping they would get better but the vision stayed blurry. She could see a faint outline of an under-sized tom.  
"You will be blind for a few days." The tom spoke, her stomach fluttered as she tried to hold her breath. "Who are you?" She was amazed that her voice sounded so calm, she was panicking. Where were the dogs? She flinched as something crashed. "Briarlight!" The grey tom shouted, "Stop touching my herbs, do your exercises." He growled. The she-cat noticed him pick something up with his paws and fling something at another cat.  
"My name is Jayfeather." The tom turned back to the she-cat, "I am the medicine cat of Thunderclan." His voice had calmed down but it was irritated. "Who are you?" Jayfeather spoke to the she-cat, he was interested in her.  
"My name is ..." She could feel her words going quieter, "My name is Raven." She finally spoke. Raven blinked twice before speaking again. "Where am I?"  
"You are currently resting in my den, which is in Thunderclan's camp." Jayfeather mewed; she could see him looking in her direction. "You were attacked by dogs." His voice had changed into something that was giving facts; it made her feel like he didn't care about anything. "Lionblaze and Cinderheart found you."... "And you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them." A cheery little voice beamed in the corner, Raven realised this must of come from Briarlight. "Exercises! Now!" Jayfeather yelled. Raven held her breath as she tried not to flinch at his tone. She felt sorry for Briarlight already and she hadn't spoken to her yet. She chuckled gently as she heard the she-cat's reply faintly. "I want to meet Raven, I'm bored!"... "Don't be silly Briarlight, would Millie want that?" Jayfeather's sharp response made Raven's ears flatten against her skull. Why couldn't she meet her? Who was this Millie? And why was Jayfeather being like a hedgehog's spike.

"No ... And that is final." Jayfeather growled under his breath, she could hear that he hesitated as he turned around. "Brightheart? What are you doing here?" Jayfeather meowed. Raven turned her head as her ears flickered, she could hear another cat nearby "I just want to talk with the she-cat." Her gentle mew echoed through the den, she wished Jayfeather would accept, let her talk to me she thought but she bit back her tongue. "Everybody wanted to talk to you." Jayfeather's voice was now obviously directed to Raven, she flinched at his words, a small tear forming as she tried to wonder what had made him upset. "Jayfeather!" Brightheart snarled with disappointment, "That is no way to speak to a cat that has just been attacked by dogs." Raven could sense that the she-cat was getting upset; as she spoke her voice cracked and was going high-pitched. Jayfeather also obviously had sensed her feeling because he took a step back and she could see and white blur come forward to her nest.

"My name is Brightheart." She purred as she sat down, her voice was so recommending. Raven wondered why she automatically liked her. "My name is Raven." Raven responded. In her vision, Raven could see a faint blur of ginger around the she-cat but she also had a blur of pink on her face. Did she have hair there? She thought. She could feel the she-cat lick her face like a mother to her kits. She wondered if Brightheart did this to every cat, that would make sense because Jayfeather didn't seem to like her much. But she was a loner, they didn't trust her and they all seemed to have welcomed her in like family. She was very confused. The she-cat's tongue licked her face and then her shoulder, she flinched as pains seared through her limb.

"That's enough" Jayfeather stood forward, Raven looked at him and wondered what was wrong. Her tail lightly touched Brightheart's cheek. She could feel that is was hairless, was Brightheart attacked by dogs? She wondered if her own appearance had changed. Did she have hair? "Thank you." Raven purred out, she touched her nose to the she-cats. Is this why they are treating me like family? Am I just broken? Need to be put together again? Her blurred vision saw something dragging itself forward. "Briarlight." Jayfeather sternly mewed. The brown cat dragging itself against the floor was Briarlight? Was Jayfeather broken? Was she dead? She took a gulp of breath as she tried to stand up. Her shoulder made her cripple back down. "Don't move," Jayfeather mew had become gentle and soft as he whispered in her ear; he ran off and then came back with something in his mouth. She could scent the herb which was placed beside of her mouth. "Eat." He mewed. Raven licked up the herbs and led back down, trying not to use her shoulder again. Raven slowly fell asleep, she wondered if she was going crazy, or if she had indeed just died.


	4. Why didn't you just let me die?

Raven's eyes flickered open; she could feel a cool breeze rustle her chest-fur. She guessed it was morning; she looked around the den and wondered where she was. She hoped it had been a dream but her eyes were still cloudy. Her tail tapped the moss-lined nest as she looked towards the direction of loud snoring. The grey tabby tom was led relaxed in his own nest, quietly mumbling words to himself; she could work out a few of them. "Rock." He heard faintly, it was replaced with "The stick." She wondered what he was talking about but she guessed it was just a dream. Shapes were reforming in front of her, it was better than the previous day. She wondered if she would ever get her eyes back. Her thoughts flickered through her mind as she waited for Jayfeather to wake up.

The sun's rays warmed the side of her pelt up; she purred at the touch and loved the cold breeze at the same time. Her whisker's twitched with amusement as she began to listen to everything going on outside of the den.

"There is a thorn in my nest." A voice grumbled to itself, it made the cat sound old and ancient. Complaining about their nest and talking about the good old days.

"Hunting patrol." A voice rasped, "I will lead Lionblaze, Berrynose and Dovepaw. Cinderheart, you take Ivypaw, Thornclaw and Brightheart."  
"Aren't you coming on patrol?" A deep voice mewed, "I'm going to see Poppyfrost and the kits." Another cat replied.  
"I'll take Whitewing instead." The voice that rasped began again, before giving a startling cough. "You should get Jayfeather to check that out." A deep, humble voice spoke.

"We are going to be apprentices soon." Beamed a tiny squeak, another voice soon joined it; "I'm going to have Toadstep as my mentor." It boasted, "So? I'm going to have Spiderleg as mine." Raven listened to the two kits argue before they finally decided to play a game of Tigerstar's rouges. She giggled to herself; the clan was slowly growing on her.

It was like a family she used to have, a family that disowned her. She never knew why but she hated them. She can't remember much when she was young but she knew that the reason she had been travelling was to find her family. The only name she had ever known was her name and her brother's name; Crowkit. Of course she had dropped the 'kit' bit of her name as she grew older, not wanting to be associated with clan cats. But she had to admit, this clan was different. Her ears twitched as Jayfeather's body stirred. She wondered what he was thinking about apart from a rock and a stick. She continued to listen to the cats outside of the den, starting the morning.

"You're awake." A sudden noise made Raven flinch, she looked around for the noise but she couldn't see an outline of any cat. "I'm Briarlight." The voiced beamed happily again. Raven realised that the she-cat was below her, looking up. She couldn't see her but she knew she was there. "Hello Briarlight." She smiled, "How are you?" She asked. She wasn't sure if she should ask why the cat was dragging her legs or ask her why they were keeping her. She wasn't sure if it would make a good conversation. "I'm good." The she-cat purred, Raven didn't think that was true. She could hear Briarlight's heavy breathing. Raven wasn't sure if she should start a conversation, maybe something light. But her thoughts were interrupted by Jayfeather's stern mew. "Go to the fresh-kill pile now." He sternly mewed to the she-cat. Raven could tell from his voice that he was obviously concerned about her health. Were they together? That would explain that she was in here with him she thought with a smile flickering across her face. Her thoughts were interrupted again by the tom. "Are you hungry?" He snapped, she wondered if he was like this on a daily basis. She nodded before resting her head on her paws. She flinched as her shoulder ached but she was glad it didn't sear with pain like before.  
"Can you see anything?" He asked, as he turned away, looking for something. "Not yet." Raven replied, trying to sound friendly but she guessed it didn't have any effect on the tom. Jayfeather let out a moan as he sat down. Raven looked at him, he wondered if she should comfort him and ask him why but she kept silent because the tom began rumbling to himself.  
"Jayfeather?" She whispered gently, she flinched as the tom turned around sharply; she took a gulp of breath before speaking. "I don't understand why I am here." She mewed, her voice was lightly shaky. Jayfeather looked at her, probably wondering why she was asking a very stupid question but the tone of his voice made her even more surprise; it was soft, gentle and comforting. "Lionblaze and Cinderheart helped you against a fight with dogs. Luckily Lionblaze..." He muttered something under his breath that Raven didn't catch. "You were injured." He remarked strongly, looking at her with deepest sympathy, he wondered what was wrong with her. "And you are here, for me to treat you." He finished.  
Raven didn't know what to say, "But w...Why?" She stuttered out, "Why didn't you just let me die?" She was confused why these cats were so nice to her, welcoming her in like family. Her tail swished against the soft nest, was she their prisoner? What was she to them? She looked at Jayfeather for an answer but he didn't have one, just staying in her direction silently. If she didn't have a blurred vision she didn't know what she would think. Maybe there was something wrong with him? ... "Just sleep." Jayfeather's stern mew returned as he turned around and left the den. She wondered what was wrong with him.


	5. I had an omen

Superleigh50 - Thank you for the review, I will gladly try to post more :D At the moment, I haven't got Internet but I'll be still writing and I'm getting a friend of mine to post them for me ;)

TotalFeatherfoot - Thank you for your review and comment, No worries I quite like Criticism. And I hope this chapter is less confusing :)

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Raven stirred in her sleep, Jayfeather had given her some poppy seeds to help her rest. Her ears flickered as she dreamt; 'Growing noises made Raven's spine tingle as she was running through the forest. She recognised the scene well. As she ran she noticed a golden tom's pelt leap from behind of a bush. She was startled but her shoulder seared with pain. She could feel her eyelids become heavy, he breathing becoming worse. She was suffocating in her own blood.' Her eyes blinked open from pure terror she tried to stand up but her front, right shoulder crippled from the weight. She hissed in annoyance.

"Are you okay?" Jayfeather must have returned when she was asleep, she could see him staying at her. She could see him? She purred as she realised she wasn't blind anymore. She watched him take a step closer, she looked at his grey fur and then to his blue eyes. He was blind. She gasped as she tried to move backwards, "Don't." Jayfeather mewed. His tail touched her flank with comfort as she stared at him.

Raven shook her head in disbelief; tears were slowly running down her cheek. She knew that there was something wrong with her. She blinked in surprise as Jayfeather helped her up; she leant against his under-sized body as she lifted her front paw and limped out of the den.

The sun hit her face as she gave a long purr; she wondered how long she had been in the medicine cat den. She could see that snow was layered on the ground, but the warm sun was slowly making it become slushy. Her paws tingled as she stepped into the white slush. A smile flickered on her face as she looked at Jayfeather with pure happiness. From the time she had stayed with Jayfeather and Briarlight she had learned about their lives, how Hollyleaf died and how Briarlight broke her spine. Jayfeather was quieter about his life, never wanting to talk about it. Raven tried more than once to speak about rock and a stick but Jayfeather would just give her a few herbs and then leave the den. She had met Brightheart a few times, and loved being in her company. She somehow knew what Raven was going through, Raven had also met Brightheart's mate; Cloudtail. The white tom loved Brightheart through everything, Raven envied that. She wished she could meet someone like that but she knew she couldn't trust anyone with her own story. She had told both Briarlight and Brightheart the same story; that she was just rouge who was chased by dogs but Jayfeather never asked. She wondered if he knew, sometimes when she woke up from a dream he would always be awake watching her as if he knew exactly what she was just dreaming.

"Have a look." Her thoughts were interrupted by Jayfeather's soft voice. She blinked before looking at him with a bewildered expression but he ignored it, indicating with his paw to a puddle of melted snow. She blinked again before she stopped leaning against the tom and limped forward to her reflection.

She gasped, was that her? She blinked twice before bending down to touch her nose to the ugly reflection. The water rippled as she broke away from the cold touch, licking her nose in delight before looking back at the hideous face. Her nose was distorted; a large pink scar splinted her nose in half. The pink, hairless scar followed up her face and stopped just below her right eye. She could see a crossed scar against her neck and she was missing quite a lot of fur on her shoulder. Her ears were both ripped and had notches taken out of them. But her eyes were still beautiful; they were both emerald green and sparkling from the sun's rays.

She could feel a tear rolling down her cheek, she tried to blink them away but they kept coming. She growled unexpectedly as she looked at Jayfeather. "I'm hideous." She cried before trying to turn away. Her paws crippled again as she feel onto the cold ground. The snow matted into her fur and she curled around her legs, her tail resting along her nose. "Why didn't you just let me die?" Her muffled mew sounded distorted from the snow as she held back her tears, she closed her eyes hoping everything was going to stop soon but she could still feel her heartbeat and she could feel Jayfeather's heartbeat. Jayfeather's heartbeat? She blinked her eyes open and felt a warm figure wrapped around her, the tom was comforting her. "Jayfeather?" She mewed softly.

"Yes." He replied, his voice was gentle and soft.

"Why?" Raven's words echoed through the cold breeze, "Why am I here?"

Raven waited for a response, her ears flickering in fear. "I had an omen." He replied, Raven didn't know what it meant but she was happy he spoke to her. She nodded her head slightly before closing her eyes again, letting herself fall asleep in the cold snow.


	6. She finally had a home

As the sun-light made Raven blink so quietly tried to roll over but she couldn't, she gave a small yawn and looked up. She gave a warm smile as she saw the grey tabby tom asleep against her pelt; she wondered how long they had rested for. She wasn't cold, even thou she had fallen asleep in snow. She blinked again before she gave a long yawn. She remembered the images ... Her images. That was what she looked like, and it wasn't going to change. Remembering the horrid scar across her face and her hairless shoulder made a shiver go up her spine. She couldn't find her family anymore; maybe it would be best just to leave. Maybe go back to the twolegs, the twolegs? That made her spine shiver again. She remembered how they had treated her, locked her away in a cage. She wouldn't go back to them. She gave a small sigh before touching her splinted nose to Jayfeather's cheek. "Wake up." She purred gently, giving a warm and content purr. She hoped it wouldn't make the tom started or angry that they had spent most of the day asleep. She watched quietly as the grey tom twitched and slowly opened his blind eyes.

"What... Urgghh..." Jayfeather grumbled before he stood up, shaking his pelt from the snowflakes. Raven looked at him in hope before looking back at the ground. She stood up and shook her own pelt. "We should have seen Firestar by now." Jayfeather quickly remarked before he helped Raven lean onto his pelt to walk back to camp. Raven heard Briarlight talk about Firestar, the leader of Thunderclan but she hadn't met him yet. She wondered if he was a nice cat.

"Is he nice?" She asked Jayfeather as they walked into camp, she had been thinking about why the tom had wanted to speak with her. She gave a short sneeze as a snowflake landed on her nose, she looked at Jayfeather with a happy expression but looked at the ground again as he just stared at her. She wondered what was wrong with him.

"He's our leader." Jayfeather responded.

"I know that." Raven cheekily added, swishing her tail playfully. Her ears flickered back and forth in anticipation. She looked up at where the leader's den was, "Are we going to climb that?" She asked, half-worried because of her shoulder.

"I will be climbing the ledge, Firestar will come out." Jayfeather mewed, before he let Raven lean against the stone wall as he leaped up onto the high-ledge. Raven watched as his tail disappeared. She took a step back as she saw a large, powerful-shouldered tom cat. His fur was bright ginger, like a flame and he had a scar across his flank. She knew this must have been Firestar, Jayfeather followed him out and looked down onto her. She felt so small with the two toms looking at her; she shuffled her paws delicately and dropped her gaze. She flinched lightly as Firestar leaped down from the ledge and padded up to her.

"I mean no harm." Firestar's deep, gentle mew was soft in Raven's head. She felt strangely safe around him, "I wanted to ask you something." Firestar went on as he noticed Raven looking contently. Raven nodded her head but she ended up watching Jayfeather who just returned back to his den. "When on your journey, did you meet a Ravenpaw?" He asked, Raven looked back at the tom and looked into his emerald eyes.

"Ravenpaw..." Raven slowly started thinking about what had happened on the journey. She thought back when she had met those three stray cats in the barn and the three kittens, but what were their names. She remembered the black tom, the white tom that had black splotches and the light fawn coloured tabby she-cat. When she was there the she-cat had just given birth, "Leaf, Bear and Honey." She chuckled loudly, she looked at Firestar but looked down again as he looked at her in bewilderment. "Ravenpaw's kits were born the night I stayed in the barn." Her words seem to have comforted the leader because he gave a smile, and then turned and padded quickly over to a group of cats that had returned from hunting. Her belly rumbled and she gave a small laugh. Maybe later she thought as she began to limp back to the medicine cat den but her thoughts were interrupted as she heard the leader's mew.

"All cats gather to the high ledge for a clan's meeting." He said all cats. Did this mean her? She wasn't sure.

"Are you coming?" Jayfeather's stern mew made her jump as she looked at him.

"Are you always so cranky?" She mewed back, her tail swishing playfully as she licked his nose. She flinched back at her actions. It felt so right but wrong at the same time, she shook her head and turned around blushing. She didn't want to show the tom that, she limped into the clearing and sat beside of Brightheart. She watched Jayfeather sit beside of a handsome golden tom. She smiled at him. He was handsome she thought happily, before she looked up to Firestar.

"Before I begin the ceremony, I would like to share with Thunderclan and Starclan that Ravenpaw has had kits." Firestar purred gently as he looked down at Raven, she felt her ears going red. She looked at the ground, her ears twitching lightly. "And we have two new apprentices." Firestar proudly mewed. "Molekit, you have reached the age of six moons and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on until you receive your full warrior name you will be known as Molepaw." Raven chuckled as she spotted the large brown and cream tom; he was puffing out his chest and looking determined. "Berrynose." Firestar mewed, "You are ready to take on an apprentice, and I hope you pass on your determination and spirit down to this apprentice." Raven looked as the large cream tom called Berrynose touched his nose to the apprentice. "Cherrykit." Firestar mewed once again after everything went quiet. "You are also six moons old and ready to be apprenticed. You will be known as Cherrypaw until when you receive your full warrior name." Raven looked at the ginger she-cat that was called Cherrypaw. She smiled warmly at her and wondered who she-cat's mentor was going to be. "Cloudtail." Firestar called out, "It is time that you were given an apprentice. I hope you teach Cherrypaw the ways of the warrior code and to make her become a great warrior." Raven purred happily at the new apprentices. Her tail lightly wrapped against her legs as she looked at the ground in embarrassment as Firestar called her own name. Raven looked up eventually and tried to smile but her crooked face didn't want to. "Some cats have asked why I have let another rouge into this clan." Raven's ears flattened as she heard cat's agreeing and hissing at her. "But!" Firestar's loud mew echoed through the clearing and the cats went quiet. "Jayfeather had an omen." There were a few gasps and Raven looked up again. "Raven will become Jayfeather's apprentice if she accepts to stay in this clan." Raven was stunned. She looked up at the leader, this wasn't a joke.

What about her family? The journey she had taken? Was she just giving it up? She shook her head at her thoughts, she strangely wanted this. "I would be honoured to join your clan." Raven purred towards Firestar.

"Then until Jayfeather gives you your full medicine cat name, you shall be known as Ravenpaw." As he said 'Ravenpaw' his voice became sharp and unrealistic as if bad memories or even good ones were going through his mind. She remembered the question he had asked her, maybe they were good friends once she thought before her thoughts were interrupted again. Instead of hissing and spitting, the cats around were calling her name. "Ravenpaw, Cherrypaw, Molepaw." Were being called out, she finally had a home.


	7. I haven't felt like that

"A medicine cat will not have a mate." Jayfeather's stern mew echoed through Ravenpaw's ears as he told her the rules. "Nor can they have kits." Kits? Ravenpaw looked at him and blinked her eyes; she wasn't allowed to become a mother? She nodded her head to Jayfeather to tell him that she heard him and acknowledged the rules. Her tail wrapped around her paws as she took a deep breath, and then a small sigh. She watched from inside of the medicine cat den, she watched the newly appointed apprentices near the nursery. She loved how they were so young, still playing. Her ears flickered as she watched Berrynose walk towards them and the separate the two. She smiled as the apprentice named Molepaw tried to keep up with the warrior as they left the clearing.

"Don't you ever?" Ravenpaw started, as she looked over at Jayfeather, she looked to the ground embarrassed and flustered. "Sorry," She mumbled.

"Don't I ever what?" Jayfeather spoke after a while; he walked towards Ravenpaw and sat beside of her, his pelt lightly brushing hers to tell her it was okay to speak. Ravenpaw blushed at the touch, but his voice sounded through her mind. 'Medicine cats are not allowed kits or mates.' She thought to herself before looking back into his blue eyes.

"Don't you ever wish you could have kits?" She asked, "A small instinct that makes you ever want to raise them," Ravenpaw looked at the ground again, she could imagine feeling Jayfeather's stern gaze on her but when she looked up at him he was deep in thought.

"My mother is Leafpool." Jayfeather carefully spoke, "She was also my mentor." He hesitated slightly, before continuing. "My mother broke the medicine cat code to give birth to Lionblaze, Hollyleaf and I." Ravenpaw looked at him, she tried to remember all of the faces of the cats that he named, and she couldn't think of Hollyleaf thou. Maybe she was dead? She didn't want to ask him. "And she lied to us, we thought that Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight were our parents but the actual truth is that Leafpool mated with a Windclan warrior named Crowfeather."

Ravenpaw looked at him; she had forgotten most of her past. She had remembered that her brother was called Crowkit but it must have been a common name. There were two Ravenpaws after all. She couldn't remember her clan name, and this place by the lake she cannot remember, she's never lived by a lake. "That is horrible." Ravenpaw spoke, her tail touched Jayfeather's shoulder as she pressed her face into his flank to comfort him. Her whiskers twitched by his fur as she closed her eyes.

Ravenpaw stayed by his warm pelt for a while just thinking, before she felt that Jayfeather was getting uneasy, his paws were shuffling on the ground, and his heart beat had increased. She chuckled lightly as she broke apart from his touch, she looked into his eyes as felt herself blush. "Sorry," She mumbled nervously. She always got too carried away; her ears flickered in discomfort before she turned her head at a noise. Jayfeather didn't have time to respond to Ravenpaw as he also turned his head to the same noise.

"Sorry," A small mew came from the entrance of the medicine den, Ravenpaw recognised the fluffy, pale grey she-cat as Dovepaw; an older apprentice. She seemed to be very excited as she rushed forward into the den. "I'm getting my warrior name." She beamed, "It's going to be Dovewing." She purred happily, "And Ivypaw is going to be..."

Her words were interrupted by Jayfeather's stern mew; "You shouldn't be listening, you should be waiting like other apprentices and trying to prove themselves towards Firestar." His pelt ruffled lightly, "Go and ask Lionblaze to go hunting, try to catch many." Jayfeather's stern mew had turned more friendly and soft. Ravenpaw wondered if the tom thought of the apprentice as his kit. He seemed like a father to her. She chuckled lightly; maybe this was how he copes with the rule to not have kits and a mate. Treat all kits and apprentices as your own.

Dovepaw nodded her head before looking at Ravenpaw's scarred face. Ravenpaw could see her ears twitch before the apprentice bounded off. "She's certainly a bundle full." Ravenpaw chuckled as she looked at Jayfeather; he seemed to be in deep of thought again. She watched his small features with curiosity before giving an ear-splitting sneeze. Jayfeather's ears perked as straight away looked into her direction, "Just dust." Ravenpaw insisted before turning her heard towards the entrance, "Can we go out?" She asked.

Jayfeather watched her before nodding, "Sure." He mewed, "We can go collect some Catmint."

Ravenpaw began to follow Jayfeather out of the medicine cat den. The snow was still covered lightly on the ground; she purred as it squashed between her toes as she took each step forward. She looked up as she noticed Jayfeather further ahead of her, she happily bounded after him. She must have looked like an apprentice. She was technically an apprentice but she had to be older than Jayfeather. She ruffled her chest-fur as she slowed down her pace and walked beside of Jayfeather.

"Here." Jayfeather's mew interrupted Ravenpaw's thoughts again as she looked at him blankly. "The catmint." Jayfeather mewed as he showed Ravenpaw the plant.

She looked at it and smiled, "There is quite a lot there." She purred happily.

"I water it daily," Jayfeather proudly mewed as he chewed through a stem, "I keep a close eye on it, it's the most valuable plant." Jayfeather looked at Ravenpaw. "Do you remember what it treats?" He asked.

"White cough and Green cough." Ravenpaw mewed as she nipped at another stem. She placed the plant beside of the one that Jayfeather had cut. "Is this all that we are taking back?" She asked.

"I'll like to talk more, but I have to leave it so it'll grow better." He purred with happiness. Ravenpaw chuckled; Jayfeather did like to nurture everything. From apprentices to plants, it made Ravenpaw smile at the tom.

Her thoughts were interrupted again as they started to walk back towards the camp, Ravenpaw enjoyed the sound of the wind passing through her ears. She purred gently as the snow got deeper. She looked over at Jayfeather and smiled before bounding forward, enjoying the wind rushing against her chest-fur. Her tail flickered from behind of her and leaped forward with a purr, she slowed down her pace as she saw the entrance, and walked through it with her tail held high and her mouth full of herbs. She walked into the medicine cat den, and dropped the herbs onto the floor. Her ears flickered as she heard Jayfeather enter the camp, she walked out of greet him with a smile. He was out of breath from running, but he was still laughing. His whiskers were twitching with amusement as he walked towards Ravenpaw. "I haven't felt like that ... In a very long time." Jayfeather joked before dropping the herbs beside of Ravenpaw's herbs as they walked into the medicine cat den together.


End file.
